I do love Piazzolla. His music is simply siblime. It gives me goosebumps too.

house sweet house
House music makes me so awsomely happy. I used to dance long time ago, used to listent to house music a lot. Then it all kinda got forgotten. But now I have soma house in my track list, and this is what I need. To dance.

Writer's Block: Do Not Open Until 2059

If you were to make a time capsule today to be opened in 50 years, what would you put in it?

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Ok, what should I put there?I think 10 is a good number:
1) a pack of cigarettes
2) a lighter
2) a book "The Ungbearable Lightness of Being" by M. Kundera
3) a picture of my cat
4) a napking, on which my first love wrote the adrees for our second date
5) a scarf in case of cold air
6) some anti-hangover medecin
7) a Vogue issue
8) $100 bill
9) a picture of my dearest friends
10) a CD with my favourite music (as it seems sweet)

bimbos, but I'm not talking about them

 So many people have read the Secret, and even though a million dollars won't appear by one thought, I like the idea. I like the idea about determination, creating my own future. However, on my mind there is a completely different matter.
What I want in life is to combine artistic expression and some kind of managerial work. My ideal one is to work for some cosmetic giant and create marketing plans or create beautiful images with makeup, work with people, and shape the consumer's mind. That is why I'm pursuing a manager degree and at the same time work as a makeup artist. Anyway basic knowledge about business will help in life.
I think this will suit my personality. I want to be not on the stage but at the back of it. Maybe this is one of the reasons why I like ''The devil wears Prada" movie (but I hate the book). There was a particularly great scene in the fitting room with Miranda and Andy and the staff, and how she explained the power of fashion. This is my interpretation though, but I want to be among the people like Miranda, not Andy. 
Oh well I digressed.
So, I was surfing different blogs and beauty sites, and comments there are simply so bizarre. i was reading the review of EL Night Serum that's said to be super effective and super luxurious. Why this particular product I was looking for is because of my friend at the EL beauty counter in Nordstrom. He told me that this serum is being sold every 5 minutes in the world. No wonder why, 30 ml bottles is enough as it's said for about 2 weeks. And no wonder why those beauty giant make millions of dollars, Euros etc. So I was wondering what the miracle product it was.
BtW, I usually prefer reading from the lowest possible score to the top. I don't care about people who liked that stuff, but the people who didn't like it were worth looking at.
First, there is a Q, How old should you be to start anti-aging skin care regime: 50, 40, 30? It is all individual of course, but take 20, or better 18 y/o and under. Can you believe it? Especially with serums or other anti-aging creams. 18 y/o WTF, did those girls cured all their acne yet? I find it just funny. So take a look at this age group and a 'lil up to 25.-->
So, so Cons of this serum: itching, irritating, peeling, redness, these are severe ones and are more about the a bad reaction of skin to a certain ingredients. The milder ones are feeling greasy, oily, acnegenic, don't give promised results, price. SO F-ING BIMBOS. What do they want a f-ing miracle, turning into a princes or a pumpkin. At this age the simplest products are sufficient and the needs of the skin are different. No, the f-ing beauty magazine tells them/us/me about anti age.
ok. I’m wrapping up. I just want to be the person who makes money on those bimbos. That's all.



In a book "Bird by Bird", which we had last quarter in English class, there was a piece of advice I want to follow. It is making indext card that is writing down notes with ideas, thoughts, and subjects to think about. I've not yet dealt with index card in my life but think that it's time i did so.

So to start with, I'll answer my mother's quastion about whether or not I am comfortable and satisfied with my life. Yep, I'm ok. I think that the secret of my content is my relationship. There is a nice word by some autor i can't remember at the moment as well as the very quotation about safety. Don't remember exactly of safety Vs. what. As for me, I feel safe and secure in my relationship in my relationship, hence in my life and what i will have to do later.
Indeed, having a good relationship with someone (even with yourself) meanes living in harmony. Yep, that is it: healthy, satisfying relationship can let you live in harmony. As my life is harmonious, I strees less. It is banal and obvious idea though. But what interest me is how it indulgence can turn into self-loathing, For instance, when I was free I was concearned about my body, my face, my attitude. It is all about atraction of others, for I can get a decent sex or whatever. Now, I noticed i've got fatter since I started my relationship because I can eat whatever I want.
And there will be a moment when I will hate myself. It will be time to do as Elisabeth Taylor advised, undress, go to the mirror and just hate youself and all that soft body, and maybe it will make my start working out a little.


The fox and the Grapes by Aesop

ONE hot summer’s day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. “Just the things to quench my thirst,” quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: “I am sure they are sour.”


the last straw
I woke up this evening fully depressed. Am I really that bad? What are my strengths? Yesterday comments were the last straw. There is the possibility that it's not what I need to do. Whatever.
Fine I thought even though those comments about my makeup dos were really upsetting. I won't stop doing it, nor am I going to be so obsessed with makeup. I have one day a week of my work, and as long as they pay it's acceptable.

For sure it is the last makeup whining on my blog.


c'est génial

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien - Edith Piaf
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Different thoughts

 “The truth that lies in our hearts.” What truth can lie in our heart, and I began to wonder. It can be truth about our differences and that we are all different, it can be truth about our identity and believes we eventually came to. And it all goes from the heart. Even though heart is just a heart, we can feel with the heart sometimes, not with our brains. It is like when we realizing something important and have this pricking feeling in the inside the chest, or it might be just a disorder. Yes, disorder that crashes us from our comfort zone and makes us think and feel. So, when I cherish the important moment, I feel this prickling feeling, my ciggy lightened up. But I bet that it is just a sign to give up that smoking, but I can’t as it bring me to some particular moments where and when my friend and I were gossiping, drinking, smoking, laughing, sharing thought, and at last when we were friends.


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Oh, well, I got roasted on one Web forum for makeup artists. My work that I posted has met tons of critique and disgust. It made me think that maybe makeup is not my thing. But honestly, I don't agree with them. Yes, there is lots of mistakes and dirtiness in my work, but I had a concept and I tried to make those people look their best. I'm learning, and I want to learn even if it requires my doing mistakes.
Oh, well. I came to think that people I work with lie to me about how beautiful it's come out, and women just tip me as an act of mercy instead of gratitude. They seem so honest [the stylist of my working place] but not honest enough.
I thought that I knew the makeup technique; it appeared that I didn't. I got advice to go to a beauty school. The truth is I've been to 2 makeup schools, none of which have given me the proper knowledge. It sucks since I paid money for it, spent time, and, yes, I even got a diploma. I was graded as a makeup artist with an A. I was good. It seems now that even the diploma also was a lie. A fiction of my makeup alleged talent.
Going to a makeup school had its difficulties for me. I was, as I would say, a closeted makeup artist. I couldn’t go around and say loudly that I was doing it, or I would immediately have got a label as a fag. The thing I regret the most is that I didn't choose the right tutor or the right school; instead it was a young girl who didn't teach me much but recited her makeup notes. And it didn't teach me.
I feel like I’m color blind. The colors I choose are wrong. Everything is just wrong. As for now, I’m sure I haven’t done any client/friend/model for practice happy. Everyone just lied.
And yet again I am asking the same question, Is it what I want to do, the makeup? I am positive about it. Making a person happy is so elevating. And it gives more money than doing coffee in a coffee shop.
Whatever they, the artist from this forum, say, they are gonna be right. And it’s gonna be like a cold shower. However, with all good critique, screw them.

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